Chain Smokers

I never understood why people smoke. If you ask them, they would reply “I am smoking to release my tension and nervousness” But there is something we have to realize or question our self, after you finish smoking that cigar, are you really relieved??  Or do you need to light another bunch of cigar for the rest of the day? I guess that why we see some men smoking 10 to 20 packs a day.

The malls are the haven for the smokers. Even though it’s strictly prohibited to smoke in the malls, they have kept designated areas for the chain smokers to breath properly (yeah you read it right). They even laid out the sign “welcome smokers and thank you for smoking” I am not sure if the management of the malls are being sarcastic when they put up the sign or they are being sympathetic to these guys who are in constantly under tension.

Before, I used to see only men smoking, but I think it became a fashion accessory for ladies nowadays. You can see them wearing the dress in red, with all tight or miniskirt, with red lipstick and on top of that “the cigar”. My way to think logically was no more. I failed to understand how one person can see the beauty in that crap. But like I said it is a fashion accessory for the ladies. If you don’t smoke, you don’t look professional or your colleagues might think that you have don’t have any tensions in life or worse, any work.

Like my friend once said. Don’t call me an addict, its chain smoker or best the one..i am not a drug addict.. call me  dope case.

Funny part is the warning sign. They can see the WARNING sign in big letters but the content is very small. Must be pack, they are too small to print in big letters. And in case you are short of sight, don’t worry its only a pack… and IF you can read.. still its just one cigarette..no harm done until you get there. Moreover, the sign clearly says that smoking is injurious to health and can cause lung cancer, but the addicts, sorry, I call them chain smokers tends to ignore it completely. And what more, they have this built in slogan too “Ahh.. that’s part of life, you live and someday you have to die… right.. “. They are right. You have to die someday, why not kill yourself and get it over with. No tension, thereafter… a wonderful bliz await for you in hell. You can breathe in that smoke day or night and all tension are released constantly.  

I don’t know if it’s true or not, but even though smoking is injurious to health, I haven’t seen any chain smoker dying of lung cancer. Infact, they have lived their average life properly by taking their normal medications everyday i.e. 20 packs a day.

Moral. Whether you smoke or don’t smoke. Whether you die or don’t die due to smoking. Idiots and assholes lives much longer than an average person.

Charmer...

Dear Readers,

Welcome to my blog. My name is David. A typical Indian with just an ordinary background and a moron for a friend (The Giant).

(All names and characters in this blog have been modified to avoid any harm to the originals users, which may or may not rise in the process of its making. Any retaliations or frustration which may rise, can be directed to the afore-mentioned title holders or THE GIANT)

Like many, you may be wondering why I call my friend a moron. Not much of a story. The only fact is that I am jealous. His love life blooms but mine, ehrmm.. Is still under progress. Its clicks for him, ehrmm,.. Mine is still in process.  And more than that his friends stand in awe, cheer him on.

Like many telemarketers from the bank, when they sell you their product, they say “sir, you can have 10 times your salary, and the interest rate is just 6% or 5%” “OOK, what is the diminishing rate then???” Maybe if you understand the terminology or lucky enough or if have a good ear, then you can hear a small rat squeaking from the other end “sir, its… .14% or 23%”. That’s my cue to cut the phone.

But the same can’t be applied in this guys life. Nobody is cutting his line, or neither does he cut their line (even after hearing their age which could be double his age .It could be his teacher, his.. so on and on).The line is never ending. But for me, I can proudly say.. .. .. it’s in process.

My first crush didn’t even know I existed in the beginning.  Every Friday, I get in the bus to go to church for the Sunday school (I wonder, why it’s called a Sunday school even though it’s happening on a Friday), and as per the religious terms, the mind is supposed to be free of all malice, hatred, sexual impulse, dirty thoughts, idolatry, adultery etc (oh lalala)... and here I am thinking of this lady 17/7. (Sorry readers, the rest of the hours are censored due to graphic nudity and explicit images which are displayed during the sleep hours.)  And what came of that love? It started and ended in a couple of weeks after due frustrations and explicit slaps from this old hag. Instead of rejecting my proposal in a more appropriate manner or saying that she’s too old for me, she had to vent her frustration on me… I had to console myself and assure that it must have been a ladies problem which occur every month of the year.

Moral of this blog:- Never ask a lady out or propose to her when she is PMSing. If you can’t figure it out, then you most probably must be in the receiving end.